Trying to Adjust

This is week one of full time daycare and it's just as bad as I had imagined :( I knew before Stella was even born that leaving her and going back to work would be hard. But she surprised me and made it even harder. At two months she is so responsive and fun and I just want to be with her all day. Not to mention I feel like we have a pretty good schedule down and I know that will change with daycare.

We are both having growing pains. I hate leaving her. Dropping her off when she's smiling and happy is incredibly difficult. I just want to stay and play. Dropping her off when she's upset and crying is incredibly difficult. I just want to stay and hold her.

Stella doesn't seem to understand why she has to drink from a bottle and why there is so much noise when she is trying to nap. She is not eating as well as she was and she is sleeping very little. That part is hard too because I spend my entire day counting down the minutes until I get to see her and when we get home she is either incredibly cranky or asleep. Last night we got home and she ate around 6 and went down for a nap at 7. She slept from 7 until 9:45 at which point I had to wake her up for her to eat. She ate and then went right back to sleep until this morning. The poor thing is just exhausted but it means that Martin and I didn't get to spend any time with her - she didn't even get a bath!

Yesterday her report from her teacher was "she just cried and cried and cried." Which almost made me cry and cry and cry. I talked to the other teacher this morning and I asked that they work on getting her some good naps - swaddle her and use her sound machine. Today will be better, right?

I'm not sure I'll ever adjust to not being with her during the days but hopefully it will get easier to drop her off.

In the meantime I will just keep pulling up pictures to get me through the day and continue throwing myself the pity parties :)