Three Months!

Three months ago today I was high as a kite - mostly from sheer joy but also from a little morphine. My sweet Stella came into this world and made my life even better. I can't believe my little monkey is three months old. These past months have gone by so fast but at the same time I feel like Stella has been here forever. I can't imagine life without her.

At three months this is our routine:

Bedtime between 9 pm and 10 pm

Wake up at 6 am and nurse

6:45 am play in the swing and talk to mommy while I pump

7 am Stella goes down for a morning nap while I shower and get ready

8 am leave to drop off at daycare

9 am 4 oz bottle

12 pm 4 oz bottle

3 pm 4 oz bottle

(Naps between 9 am and 5 pm vary each day at daycare, unfortunately)

5:30 pm pick up from daycare and head home

6 pm nurse

7 pm evening nap

8:45 pm bathtime

9 pm nurse then bedtime

I pump twice a day at work (TONS of fun!) and so far it has worked out pretty well for us.

At three months Stella smiles all the time. She does lots of "talking" as long as you are paying attention to her. She has great neck control and holds her head up like a champ. She also is a big fan of standing up and has very strong legs! She likes her swing and loves her changing table but most of the time prefers to be held. She's only a LITTLE bit spoiled :) She is a Pampers only girl (Huggies resulted in a new outfit every day for a week at daycare). She switched from Nuk to Dr. Browns bottles and has been doing great (but the Dr. Browns are a pain in the butt to clean!). She also really loves bathtime!

She has been getting good reports at daycare. They told me she is the best behaved baby in the class and only cries when she needs something. The sweet teachers send me pictures during the day so I can see how she's doing.

And she's usually quite happy! Luckily daddy and grandma get to visit frequently throughout the day and she loves having her visitors.

She is such a joy to be around. The last three months have been the happiest three months of my life. I feel like I was made to be a mom and being Stella's mom is the best job I could ever have.

And mommy and daddy just LOVE how much personality Ms. Stella has!

Almost the Weekend!

I'm not sure I have ever been so excited about a weekend. Not only am I looking forward to getting to spend more than just a couple of hours with Stella but I am also EXHAUSTED from this week. I was getting a lot more sleep before work and this is going to take some getting used to. Waking up between 5:30 and 6 and going to bed around 11 may be normal for some but not us - Mama wants some sleep.

Last night was the first night that Stella was in a good mood after daycare. She made it from school to the house without screaming (a first!) and my mom came over and Stella actually just hung out with us for a while and was alert and happy. It was so nice to get to spend some time with her when she was awake and not crying.

I got to daycare this morning and the teacher said they needed to let me know that Stella threw up yesterday it was "very, very, very warm". I said "well, yeah, it came out of her body which is also warm...". She said it was abnormally warm and they felt like I needed to know. Not sure exactly what I am supposed to make of that. Other than that she got a good report. They said she loves tummy time which is great since we don't do much of that at home :) One of the swim coaches at the JCC came to see Stella and said she is very strong for her age. We think so too because she had pretty good head control when she was born and has been standing with all her weight on her legs for a while. Maybe she'll end up with some guns like her daddy!

This weekend we will be celebrating Stacey's birthday with a game night tonight and Saturday night mom and I are going to see 101 Dalmatians with Marisa and Anna. Other than that I hope to get some naps and lots and lots of snuggles from the cutest baby on the block.

Man, I love that punkin.

Trying to Adjust

This is week one of full time daycare and it's just as bad as I had imagined :( I knew before Stella was even born that leaving her and going back to work would be hard. But she surprised me and made it even harder. At two months she is so responsive and fun and I just want to be with her all day. Not to mention I feel like we have a pretty good schedule down and I know that will change with daycare.

We are both having growing pains. I hate leaving her. Dropping her off when she's smiling and happy is incredibly difficult. I just want to stay and play. Dropping her off when she's upset and crying is incredibly difficult. I just want to stay and hold her.

Stella doesn't seem to understand why she has to drink from a bottle and why there is so much noise when she is trying to nap. She is not eating as well as she was and she is sleeping very little. That part is hard too because I spend my entire day counting down the minutes until I get to see her and when we get home she is either incredibly cranky or asleep. Last night we got home and she ate around 6 and went down for a nap at 7. She slept from 7 until 9:45 at which point I had to wake her up for her to eat. She ate and then went right back to sleep until this morning. The poor thing is just exhausted but it means that Martin and I didn't get to spend any time with her - she didn't even get a bath!

Yesterday her report from her teacher was "she just cried and cried and cried." Which almost made me cry and cry and cry. I talked to the other teacher this morning and I asked that they work on getting her some good naps - swaddle her and use her sound machine. Today will be better, right?

I'm not sure I'll ever adjust to not being with her during the days but hopefully it will get easier to drop her off.

In the meantime I will just keep pulling up pictures to get me through the day and continue throwing myself the pity parties :)

She's Here!

I know, I know, it's been months. But I've been VERY busy.

Stella Marie was born November 3, 2009 weighing 6 pounds 6 ounces. She is everything I hoped for and more. We scheduled a c-section and it was great. I was able to get a good night's sleep the night before and we woke up excited and totally freaked out that Tuesday morning. When we got to the hospital my blood pressure was through the roof. The nurse kept saying "Laura, you MUST calm down". I was so scared! The worst part was definitely the epidural. He had to do it twice and it wasn't fun but luckily it didn't take too long. The procedure itself was pretty crazy. It took no time at all, I felt incredibly sleepy and I just remember laying there thinking if I closed my eyes I would fall asleep and would miss the whole thing. I heard the doctor say "Wow! Look at all that hair." Then I knew she was here but I heard nothing and started to freak out. The nurses were all telling me how pretty she was but I still never heard her cry. They popped her over the sheet for me to see her for one second and I remember thinking, holy crap that baby is dark. Turned out the cord was wrapped around her neck which is why she wasn't crying and why she was so dark (blue). They worked on her for a minute and I finally heard the most beautiful sound in the world. My baby was crying. I couldn't believe she was here. Martin left my side to watch them give her a bath and do the measurements. I was so desperate to get a good look at her. When I finally saw that precious face I think I experienced every emotion you can have. I looked up at Martin and I will never forget his face - he looked so happy and SO proud. The moment you see this little creature that you helped create is something nothing can prepare you for - it's truly amazing.

They rolled me out of the operating room to go to recovery and I saw all my family in the waiting room. I gave them a wave as I rolled past them but I just wanted to hug all of them. I was so excited to share this moment with my family that I love so much. It was a very emotional day. I was just so happy. Watching each of my family members hold my daughter for the first time was such wonderful thing.

The rest of the hospital stay was fabulous. We had an awesome suite, great nurses and I recovered from the c-section surprisingly well (seriously, it was nothing!). And yes, it's true, you will simply stare at your new baby for hours for at least the first month!

Bringing home baby was exciting. I couldn't wait to get her in our house, see how the animals reacted to her and get her in all of those adorable clothes we had waiting for her. Turned out nothing fit her because she was so petite!

The first night home was horrible. She cried well, screamed, the entire night. My milk had not come in and she was starving. I was exhausted and miserable that I couldn't fix it and make her better. We took her to the pediatrician the next morning (thank goodness their office is open on Saturdays!) and they gave her some formula which made her immediately happy and me immediately burst into tears. That's what hormones, exhaustion, frustration and relief will do.

The first month was pretty rough. Stella didn't sleep more than two hours at a time at night, slept very little during the day and breastfeeding was very painful and difficult. Most days I never got out of my pajamas and went days at a time without a shower. It was the hardest thing I have ever done and yet the most wonderful thing at the same time.

These days Stella is sleeping 6 to 7 hours at a time, breastfeeding is actually an enjoyable bonding exercise and she is an absolute joy. She is smiling and cooing and getting prettier and prettier every day.

When I hear her cry early on and Saturday morning and thing "I do NOT want to be up" all it takes is for me to see her face and I'm immediately happy to be awake, sharing those early hours with her.

Stella is the most wonderful gift imaginable. I spent my whole life wanting to be a mommy. I can honestly say that being Stella's mommy is the most amazing thing that has ever happened to me and so much better than I ever could have imagined. It's like every day is Christmas morning. I wake up excited to see her, to see that toothless grin and to get those special snuggles.

Motherhood is not for everyone. You have to be willing to be pooped on, peed on, thrown up on and let's not even start on what it does to your body. But it is for me. I feel like this something I was made to do. I am so proud to be Stella's mom!

Wow

In the year 2014 your baby will start kindergarten.

In the year 2025 you'll be teaching your child to drive a car.

In the year 2027 you will be watching your child graduate high school.

Crazy huh?

V Day

We have reached 24 weeks which is considered V-day..In other words, viability day!...If for some reason Stella made an early appearance, there is a very good chance of survival...of course, we want her to stay put for a while but this is a big milestone!

"This is another big week for your magical growing baby! Just take a look at the checklist for this week: 1) ears: done; 2) fingernails: done; 3) (if you have a boy) testicles: taking their 3-4 day trip from the abdominal wall to the scrotum; and 4) lungs walls: secreting “surfactant”. What’s that? Well, surfactant is sort of what it sounds like: a surface-activated fat whose main purpose is to assist the your baby's little lungs during inflation (as in, filling with air, not getting more expensive). Just in case you’re curious, your submerged baby is still breathing in amniotic fluid, preparing and rehearsing the lungs an oxygen-filled life outside the womb. By the end of this week, your child will be weighing around 2 lbs and 14 inches long. Your cutie-patootie may even be a little more plump, but isn't anywhere near their full baby-fatted cute-self. Most of the “filling out” is coming up in that long awaited (and slightly dreaded?) third trimester. Woo-hoo! Get ready! In the past few weeks, the top of your uterus has risen above your belly button and is now about the size of a soccer ball.

This month has gone by pretty quickly and the third trimester will be here in another three weeks. Pretty crazy. Next month I will have my glucose screening test and at that appointment I will schedule the 4D ultrasound. That should be super fun! We will get a glimpse at what she really looks like and I can't wait to see her sweet little face.

I am feeling pretty good these days thanks to a new mattress which is helping me get great sleep. I still feel pretty tired most of the time but I'm trying to enjoy this time before I get even bigger and getting around gets harder!

We had our first meeting with a pediatrician last night which went great. I liked the doctor a lot. She is young and has lots of experience with babies. She and I seemed to have the same views on many of the issues we discussed and she was able to answer all of my questions.

We have a busy month ahead of us. We have scheduled our hospital tour, breastfeeding class and childbirth class for next month.

At some point we really need to get crackin' on the nursery!

Halfway and a Sex Change

We are 20 weeks!

"This week you're carrying about 10.5 inches and 10.5 ounces of solid baby-miracle-goodness! Their little delicate bones continue to ossify and toughen while their itsy bitsy finger and toe pads are finishing up. Your little monkey now has teeth buds, although they’re hidden beneath the gum line. And finally! Their limbs have reached their relative proportions—no more alien baby! Their cute pink lips are more defined, and might be helping out in a bit of prenatal thumb-sucking. If you have a little boy, then their tiny testes are descending, though they have not yet passed the abdominal wall. What’s more, eyelashes and eyebrows are also visible. At this point, your little one really looks like a miniature baby—and we do mean miniature as your little swimmer currently weighs a mere eighth of their final birth weight. With half the pregnancy behind you, the most significant gains are yet to come!"

We went for our big ultrasound last week and found out that momma and baby are healthy and growing. But we also found out that our son is actually our daughter. It's a girl! It took a little while for my brain to switch gears but we are super excited.

So hopefully in (less and not more than) 20 more weeks we will be meeting our little Stella Marie.

I have a feeling it's going to be a long summer. The heat is already killing me and it's only June. We have a lot of painting and housework to do before she gets here so my plan is to stay busy until November!

19 Weeks

"Your amazing little baby is now around 10 inches in length! If this seems a bit shocking, you’ll be relieved to know they’ve not actually grown over 3 inches, but that their little legs are now straight enough to be measured. This is when doctors begin measuring fetal growth from head to toe, (no longer “crown to rump” or CR). Lanugo (little hairs) covers their whole body now, trapping that charming cheese-like vernix caseosa (see week 18) to the surface to the skin. This week your lil’ fetus will start on an appetizing diet of amniotic fluid which they are now capable of swallowing, digesting, and passing the fluid as far as their tiny “large” intestines. Fortunately for you, this nice little lump of baby-poop won’t be coming out while they’re still in your womb. Some time shortly after they’re born, this fun lump will become the first in a long line of baby poops."

I can't wait for my big ultrasound on Thurday - my birthday! They said it will be about an hour long so I will get lots of different views of the little one and hopefully lots of great pictures as well.

Nursery

I have looked on a lot of websites lately to find crib bedding that I like. Katie sent me this one and I think she found the best one out there:

Isn't it cute? The best part about it is that it's affordable too! A lot of people pay $500 to $600 on their crib bedding so I was pleased to find this at such a good price.

And since my birthday is coming up (June 18th, write that down)....................

What do you think?

Baby Plus

The 18th week also means that I am starting to wear the Baby Plus monitor. Mary and Juan gave it to me (thank you so much!) and they used it with Zoe. Apparently Oprah did a show about it and Juan thought it was a must have for Mary.

Here is what it is:

"The BabyPlus curriculum is a series of 16 naturally derived sounds that resemble a mother's heartbeat. The rhythm of the sounds increases incrementally as the pregnancy progresses. The BabyPlus sonic pattern introduces your child to a sequential learning process, built upon the natural rhythms of their own environment.This "auditory exercise" strengthens learning ability during the developmental period when the advantages will be most significant and enduring for a child. BabyPlus is the first educational tool designed for prenatal use that has been proven effective. BabyPlus children have an intellectual, developmental, creative, and emotional advantage from the time they are born. Your baby can very clearly hear these patterns. She/he learns to discriminate between the sound coming from the mother and those from BabyPlus. In other words, learning has begun."

Benefits of BabyPlus®
BabyPlus® parents report babies at birth and infancy:
More readily nurse
Display an increased ability to self-soothe
Are more interactive & responsive
Are more relaxed & alert at birth

And later in life demonstrate:
Earlier developmental milestones
Enhanced intellectual abilities
Longer attention spans
Improved school readiness
Greater creativity & independence

Juan and Mary saw a huge difference between Zoe and Dominic and obviously that could just be the difference in children but they are believers in this device.

You are supposed to wear it for two hours a day - one hour in the morning and one hour at night. I have been setting my alarm an hour before I have to be up and putting it on - I have to turn the sound machine up very loud so the sound of the monitor doesn't keep me up! Then I put it on for another hour when I get off work in the evenings.

Who knows if it really works but I figure it can't hurt!

18 Weeks

"We have two more ounces! Your "getting bigger-n-better by the minute baby" is already up to 7 ounces and 6 inches! This is a big week for their baby skin. There are now two distinct layers—the epidermis (or the surface skin) and dermis. Currently, their skin is covered with a greasy, waxy, cheese-like substance, known as vernix caseosa. Sure, it sounds pretty nasty, but this mixture of fatty secretions covering your little swimmer from head to toe is the best way to protect their oh-so-thin skin from bruising and abrasions as well as chapping caused by amniotic fluid exposure (and your little one is swimming in that stuff!). Still don’t like the fact your little darling is currently slathered in fatty cream like a greased pig? Well, you know the birthing process? Where you have to push something the size of a watermelon out a hole the size of a grape? That adorable little greased piglet would have a lot harder time getting through the birth canal without the vernix caseosa. Fun fact for momma’s with baby girls: it’s a uterus within a uterus! Your little girl will have developed a uterus and vagina canal by the end of this week."

Ok well that was a gross update......sorry people....

17 Weeks

"Don't be too shocked but... your baby is EVEN bigger than it was last week, not to mention getting cuter, and smarter every day! As you’ve come to expect, there’s no shortage of growth and development this week: your fantastic little bean stalk has added yet another half inch to their overall height-- making them nearly half a foot long! Their little limbs have reached (or are within one week of) their relative proportions, and will continue to grow evenly with the rest of the body after this week. Reactive listening has begun for your baby, even though their ears are not yet structurally complete or fully functional. Meanwhile, different parts of their astonishingly complex brain are developing to process your little one’s hearing and other senses, (you know, sight, smell, taste and touch). Mind boggling factoid of the week: if you’re having going to have a little girl, her ovaries have already produced millions of primordial egg cells, which, within a few weeks, will develop into actual eggs! Phew… just wait till she’s a teenager eh?"

Cuter and smarter every day- sounds good to me!

So am I having a girl? We will soon know! Hoping to find out tomorrow. I can't wait - I just want to see the little one and make sure everything looks healthy.

We will be taking the girls with us so they will get to enjoy the moment with us. Let the countdown begin - tomorrow around 6:00 pm I should be laying on the table getting ready for the news.

16 Weels

"By week 16, your baby-to-be's body is doing more to support itself. Her kidneys function and produce urine that then passes through the umbilical cord. Within her stomach, bile is secreted, although she relies on you for all of her nutrients. Her appearance changes as her scalp hair grows and may even have color. Her developing facial muscles make it possible for her to open and close her mouth, maybe even give you a smile or two. "

"Get ready for a growth spurt. In the next few weeks, your baby will double his weight and add inches to his length. Right now, he's about the size of an avocado; 4 1/2 inches long (head to rump) and 3 1/2 ounces. His legs are much more developed, his head is more erect than it has been, and his eyes have moved closer to the front of his head. His ears are close to their final position, too. The patterning of his scalp has begun, though his locks aren't recognizable yet. He's even started growing toenails. And there's a lot happening inside as well. For example, his heart is now pumping about 25 quarts of blood each day, and this amount will continue to increase as your baby continues to develop."

The Graduate

Friday night we watched Tavi receive her high school diploma. What a night. She looked amazing and we were thrilled, proud and terribly sad. I can't believe she is going off to college. I will always remember her very pink 13th birthday. My how time flies. We are really going to miss her but we know she's moving on to bigger and better things and we can't wait to see what the future holds for her.

We had a party for her Friday night and enjoyed celebrating this special occasion with those we love. It was a great night and we are very excited for Tavi.

Doctor's Appointment

My appointment yesterday went well. My blood pressure was up a little bit which the nurse told me to watch but the doctor told me not to worry about. I remembered later that I had taken Sudafed so that may have had something to do with it.

Everything else looked good and the baby's heart was beating in the 150's this time. I talked to her a little about deliveries and I did feel much better by the time I left.

I scheduled the big ultrasound for June 18th - my birthday! I'm excited. I am very much looking forward to making sure that everything looks healthy.

I can tell that I haven't been sleeping as well lately. I have been having weird pregnancy dreams. One recurring dream is that I'm drunk (sorry Grandma) and forgot that I was pregnant. I remember only after I have ingested a large amount of alcohol and then - panic. No, this hasn't actually happened but it is a weird recurring dream to have.

I woke up today and feel like I did one of Martin's ab workouts yesterday. I assure you, I did nothing at all. I guess you'd call that growing pains. It's pretty uncomfortable. Every time I breathe I can feel those muscles aching. I knew that would happen as the abdominal wall stretches but I didn't expect to just wake up with it one day. Pretty weird.

This has been a seriously long week and I'm looking forward to Tavi's graduation and graduation party this weekend!

Taking A Poll

What do you think we are having? Make your pick on the poll to your right!

Looks like we are set to meet Martin's friend for an early ultrasound on the evening of June 3rd. I'm not sure I can wait that long!!

15 Weeks

"Your growing baby now measures about 4 inches long, crown to rump, and weighs in at about 2 1/2 ounces (about the size of an apple). She's busy moving amniotic fluid through her nose and upper respiratory tract, which helps the primitive air sacs in her lungs begin to develop. Her legs are growing longer than her arms now, and she can move all of her joints and limbs. Although her eyelids are still fused shut, she can sense light. If you shine a flashlight at your tummy, for instance, she's likely to move away from the beam. There's not much for your baby to taste at this point, but she is forming taste buds. Finally, if you have an ultrasound this week, you may be able to find out whether your baby's a boy or a girl! (Don't be too disappointed if it remains a mystery, though. Nailing down your baby's sex depends on the clarity of the picture and on your baby's position. He or she may be modestly curled up or turned in such a way as to "hide the goods.")"

I am still hoping that Martin's friend can do an ultrasound next week. I'm not going to get too excited in case baby Juarez ends up being modest and doesn't want to let us see "the goods". Even if we aren't able to find out the sex, I would just love to get a good look at the little one. We haven't had an ultrasound since 7 weeks so I would like to see how much peanut has grown and make sure everything looks healthy!

I go back to the doctor tomorrow for blood pressure/weight check. Gotta love that scale! At least I will get to hear the heartbeat.

14 Weeks

I didn't get to post last week but here is what happened to our little peanut last week:

"Welcome to the second trimester! This week's big developments: Your baby can now squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his thumb. Thanks to brain impulses, his facial muscles are getting a workout as his tiny features form one expression after another. His kidneys are producing urine, which he releases into the amniotic fluid around him — a process he'll keep up until birth. He can grasp, too, and if you're having an ultrasound now, you may even catch him sucking his thumb. In other news: Your baby's stretching out. From head to bottom, he measures 3 1/2 inches — about the size of a lemon — and he weighs 1 1/2 ounces. "

I'm so glad to be out of the first trimester!

13 Weeks - Last Week of the First Trimester

"How your baby's growing:Fingerprints have formed on your baby's tiny fingertips, her veins and organs are clearly visible through her still-thin skin, and her body is starting to catch up with her head — which makes up just a third of her body size now. If you're having a girl, she now has more than 2 million eggs in her ovaries. Your baby is almost 3 inches long (the size of a medium shrimp) and weighs nearly an ounce."

I'm confused. Wasn't the baby just a plum? Isn't a shrimp smaller than a plum?

I can tell the second trimester is coming. The nausea is much better, almost completely gone. I have energy again - not back to 100% but much improved. I actually did grocery shopping, cooked dinner and stayed up until 10 pm last night. That's a huge difference from a couple of weeks ago.

I'm excited to see what the second trimester brings. We are hoping to find out the sex of the baby in 3 weeks - if we can work that out. We'll see!

12 Weeks

Here is what peanut is doing this week:

"Even though your little Einstein’s body is still growing quite rapidly 2 inches long right now, the overall super-speedy growth of their amazing brain continues to leave the head proportionately larger than the body— and is actually slightly more than one third of their total body mass! The head and neck are still straightening at this point as can be seen by their little chin lifting off of the chest. Your baby is also actively rehearsing “breathing” by using amniotic fluid to prepare the lungs for future air respiration."

A big head, just like it's mama.

"The big news: your little pooper is now officially going to need diapers! Although a majority of the waste produced is transferred to the mother’s system for discharge (to avoid having it linger in the amniotic sac), some urine is released to the amniotic fluid and your baby will actually breathe it in before it passing it on to your for discharge. Not to worry, urine--in this particular form, is completely harmless to your baby."

You all wanted to know that, right?

As for me:

"And how's mom doing? Logically, as your baby is growing bigger, so must your uterus. By now, your once-flat and relatively small uterus is stretched to the size of a softball (12-14 cm), but that’s nothing: by the time you deliver it will have grown to 15 – 17 inches (37 – 42 cm). Your uterus is slowly increasing at a rate of approximately one centimeter per week."